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Agent Of Chaos

Agent Of Chaos

Regular price $31.99 USD
Regular price Sale price $31.99 USD
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Codename: Wiseguy

Codename: Dumpster Fire
Species: Raccoon
Role: Sabotage & Unconventional Warfare
Agency Affiliation: C.A.G.E.D
Tagline: Trash the World


Backstory:
Once just a dumpster-diving menace with a taste for expired burritos and fireworks, Dumpster Fire was accidentally dosed with experimental neuro-enhancement sludge during a corporate lab dump gone wrong. He woke up with an IQ of 145, a permanent smirk, and an unshakable urge to watch things explode.

Now he's the Agent of Chaos—a rogue operative who specializes in scorched-earth tactics, improvised ordinance, and psychological warfare via midnight trash raids. Armed with a mini-nuke marked “CHAOS” and a complete disregard for rules, treaties, or logic, Dumpster Fire operates under one principle: “If it’s peaceful, make it loud.”

He's not in it for money. He’s in it for the mayhem.


Gear Loadout:

  • DIY Mini-Nuke (painted with graffiti and stickers)

  • Cigarette lighter labeled "Plan A"

  • Tactical vest made from a child’s Batman backpack

  • Pocket full of nails, gum, and one very specific vendetta


Psych Evaluation:

 

  •  Extremely unstable

  •  Speaks in riddles and raccoon chirps

  •  Rated: “Too much even for us” by C.A.G.E.D HQ

  S M L XL 2XL 3XL
Width, in 18.00 20.00 22.00 24.00 26.00 28.00
Length, in 28.00 29.00 30.00 31.00 32.00 33.00
Sleeve length, in 8.23 8.50 8.74 9.02 9.25 9.49
Size tolerance, in 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50 1.50

 

  • 100% ring-spun cotton
  • Unisex sizing
  • OEKO-TEX certified
  • Design color may vary slightly
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